God is teaching me that I'm not in control. I mean, I say that I know that all the time, but then I move on in life as if I am in control. But I'm learning, I'm not. What brought all this about, you ask? Well, in explaining this I don't want to run the risk of sounding whiny - I'm not whining. I'm simply sharing with you how God is teaching me to trust, totally, in Him with every aspect of my life and ministry.
About 2 months ago my doctor looked me straight in the eyes and told me I had diabetes, type 2. I am 25 years old and far from obese, though I have a little bit of extra weight that I could probably do without. Turns out, you can be 25 and not too bad overweight and still have diabetes - who knew? Do you know one thing I've learned about diabetes in the past couple months: as much as you re-work your diet and do our best to manage the disease, you still have it - it's out of your control. So now, 4 times a day, I stick the ole' finger to see what my blood sugar is up to today. I can't control that...only He can.
I am a pastor - a shepherd over a flock of Christ-followers in Hot Springs, AR. And do you know what I'm learning more and more each day that I live in that role: a shepherd can't make decisions for his sheep. No, I'm not a control freak really, but there are times that I see things that some of my church folks are doing that I know will hurt them later on, or hurt others later on. And in those times, all I can do is pray and encourage them in their walks with Christ in the right direction...but the decisions are still theirs. I can't control that...only they can.
I am a husband - to an amazing woman named Shauna. We were married on February 14, 2004 in a beautiful ceremony at Victory BC in Cabot. It was very easily one of the best days of my life thus far - an amazing day. All my life I have dreamed of the day when some little stinker would look up to me and call me "Daddy." That's been my highest aspiration and dream in life, honestly. Thus far in our 5+ years of marriage, we haven't been blessed with that opportunity yet. For reasons that are far too big for my mind to understand, God has chosen to not make that one happen yet. As much as I crave that title of Daddy, and as much as I long to see Shauna have the opportunity to be the best mom in the world as I know she would be, it's just not our reality yet. I can't control that...only He can.
So all that to say this: God is God, and we are not. The sooner we accept that and begin to live our lives under His Lordship and guidance, the sooner we experience real life the way He intended for us to.
Until next time,
blake
That's just a thought, and I welcome yours.
Feel free to email blake anytime at pastorblakeman@yahoo.com .
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